Hetaphobia
by TheWammy'sHouseReject
Summary: More than anything else, Italy fears being alone.
1. Autophobia

_**Welcome to the first of a series of oneshots based around Hetalia characters and their deepest fears. To start, Italy Veneziano- cuz I luvs mah little Italy :D**_

_**Draw a circle, that's the Earth.**_

_**Draw a circle, that's the Earth.**_

_**Draw a circle, that's the Earth.**_

_**I don't own Hetalia.**_

_Autophobia- The fear of being left alone._

Italy fears a lot of things- thunder, lightning, spiders, snakes, the dark… but despite all these other fears, one thing scares Italy Veneziano more than anything else in the world:

More than anything else, Italy fears being alone.

It started long ago, when he lived with Grandpa Rome. He thought Rome would always be by his side, always be with him. But, nothing lasts forever, and Rome abandoned Italy. (He knows that Rome wa killed; yet still he feels abandoned.) He was left all alone, and he felt that no one in the world cared for him.

…That is, until the Holy Roman Empire.

Here was someone who never gave up on him, even when Italy would run away. (He ran, always ran. He doesn't want to be abandoned again.) No matter how much Italy ran, how often he hid, Holy Rome chased after him, hand extended in an offer of friendship.

(Italy took that hand too late.)

But Holy Rome left, just as Rome did- off to a brutal battle. He promised he would be back, that they would see each other again, just like Grandpa Rome had promised.

And just like Rome, he never returned.

(He promised. He promised he would come home! Why? Why did they have to lie?)

From that point on, Italy stopped hoping for friends that would stay. He had a couple girlfriends here and there, human women he wasn't really supposed to talk to. As soon as they looked like they might leave him, he would panic, and leave them first.

(Then he would be alone again.)

He kept a happy face, just like Grandpa Rome told him to. "If you smile for long enough, eventually you'll feel happy no matter what," he always said. (He was wrong.) (He goes through life like nothing's wrong, says hello to strangers, flirts with women, learns new ways to make pasta, and pretends. Italy is good at pretending.)

Then Germany came along. Originally terrifying and more than a little mean, Germany had soon become his friend. Maybe something more than a friend. Slowly, Italy feels that his many fake smiles are becoming genuine. Germany works his way into Italy's heart, as a friend. As a lover. As a lot of other things that he isn't sure he wants Germany to be.

Now he is afraid again. Afraid that Germany, despite all his promises and 'I love you's, he is afraid. He's scared that Germany will tire of him, and then he'll leave, and Italy will be alone, just like all the other times. So scared, oh God…

No matter how many times he falls asleep with Germany's arms around him, no matter how many stupid whims he grudgingly indulges, Italy worries that one day, the clock will strike midnight, the coach will turn into that same shitty pumpkin, and the happy times will be over.

(He waits. The day never comes.

Maybe, this time, the dream won't end. Italy hopes. But he never hopes too much…)

Germany brought him flowers today- pale blue forget-me-nots and bunches of goldenrods. It's a rare gesture for him- Germany isn't used to being kind or gentle. They're waiting on the counter with a note attached.

_Ich werde dich immer lieben_

This note does funny things to Italy's suddenly, he knows…

Now, Italy realizes, this isn't a dream. It really will last forever.

He laughs a wonderful, genuine laugh. When Germany gets home, Italy throws his arms around him and cries his joyful tears.

This time, it's real. Maybe now, he doesn't have to be alone anymore.

(From that day on, his smiles are always real.)

Germany's note says 'I will always love you' in German, for those who are curious :D

_**Ah! This world around us,**_

_**Can be seen through the stroke of a single brush!**_

_**And now, the readers all leave reviews! Heta~li~a!**_


	2. Atychiphobia

I had a bit of a harder time writing this part XD But I do love Germany c:

Atychiphobia- Fear of failure.

Germany can't read through a history textbook without being scared. How could he? Hundreds of pages filled with failure, of defeat, of desolation. All the things he was afraid of, all the things he worried about, were written plain as day.

Nations collapsing on themselves, being ransacked, torn apart. Even his own defeats were written there. His own mistakes. His worst fears come true.

Once, he'd been the most powerful nation. He had the world clutched in the palm of his hand, all of Europe running scared. But now, not only had he lost his power, many still lived in fear of him.

Hitler...Holocaust...Eleven million dead...

He failed. He hates himself for that. He was defeated. He lost. However you sliced it, he was living his own worst nightmare- failure.

"You're not a failure, Germany," Italy always said. "You're my best friend in the whole world, and you're the toughest guy I know!"  
He'd hug Germany and kiss him, grinning his bright grin, tell him that he hadn't failed- that his country's mistakes didn't mean he was a bad country.

Germany didn't really believe him. Maybe a part of him didn't want to believe. It didn't stop Italy from trying, though.

Sometimes, Japan tries as well. He tells him there's no sense dwelling on the past. That the future's the only thing that really matters. But he doesn't believe that either.

His talk with the Roman Empire terrified him. This man, who had the whole known world in his hand, had lost everything.  
Germany wouldn't fail again. He couldn't bear that. The very thought of it kept him up at night, holding Italy in his arms while he slept, just thinking. He did a lot of thinking.

Sometimes, though, when he's holding Italy, listening to those sounds of the night, he thinks of all he has. A friend (Japan), a lover, allies...

"Liebhaber?"

Italy moans and looks sleepily up at him, nestled snugly against Germany's muscled chest.

"What's wrong?" Italy asks.

"Oh, nothing," Germany says, shaking his head. "Sorry I woke you up."

"No, it's okay Germany. Goodnight."

"Ja. Goodnight."

"I love you, Germany."

Germany smiles.

"I love you too."

Maybe, just maybe, he hasn't failed so badly after all.

c:  
Review :P


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